6 Things You Should Know Before You Cheat On Your Partner
Sunday, January 10, 2016
1. Don’t
sugarcoat it. That only makes the situation worse. Keep in mind that the
situation is already miles beyond worse. So just say it. And be transparent
about it. Lay out the basic and most important details as straight as possible
(when it happened, how long it’s been going on, etc.). Don’t save any of it for
later. Think about it this way: do you want to keep twisting the knife in their
abdomen? Or do you want a swift jab to the heart? They’re going to suffer
either way. It’s just a matter of choosing the lesser of two evils. If this all
seems difficult for you, just remember: you committed the act. So commit to it.
2.
There are consequences.
This
one may seem like a given, but there is a lasting impact for those who have
been cheated on. It goes on to affect their future relationships. Of course,
this isn’t something you’re thinking about while you’re getting it on with your
partner’s best friend. Trust issues will skyrocket, and your partner may even
find him or herself vulnerable in situations that are oddly familiar, meaning
they’ll be susceptible to triggers that they don’t even realize they have. The
paranoia is an unfortunate souvenir that your partner will take with them.
Thus, the cheating never really ends. It haunts them in ways you, the cheater,
couldn’t possibly imagine.
3.
You may be forgiven, but it will never be forgotten.
This
applies to the couples who manage to move on despite their partner’s adultery.
And it kind of goes without saying. Indeed, you may have gone on and on about
how it was only a “one time thing,” but what’s going to stop them from
believing you could do it again? Your partner is going to be a hell of a lot
more suspicious of you, and he or she has every right to be. After all, you
tied that noose for yourself. So don’t be surprised if they call you out on it
every now and then. Who knows, maybe time can wash that stain away. But don’t
expect it to. Like forgiveness, it’s something you’ll have to earn.
4.
You control your body, not the other way around.
Yes,
you may have had your eye on that cute co-worker of yours, and your body may
start to get curious. But, contrary to popular belief, you do have the power to
decide if you’ll actually do something about it. It can remain a foolish
daydream, or become a brutal reality. It all rests on an impulse. You find
yourself alone in a room with your crush. You can stay. Or you can go. Your
decision in that moment changes everything. Now, unless you’re a slave to your
private parts, take the time to consider the big picture. Will a brief moment
of self-satisfaction outweigh the long-term happiness that you have with your
spouse? Or more simply, will you jeopardize everything you have for the sake of
sating your own carnal desires? Some people try to convince themselves that
it’s okay, that perhaps they’d be better off with that cute co-worker. But do
you really want that new relationship to be built on a crime? Again, you are in
control of your impulses. Remember that. It might save your partner the grief.
5.
Don’t use cheating as the easy way out.
Whether
consciously or subconsciously, people at the breaking point of their
relationships begin seeking for the nearest exit. For some, cheating offers
them exactly that. But it’s far from the easy way. It’s cowardly and plain old
pathetic. Your partner doesn’t deserve it either, no matter how much you try to
rationalize that he or she “had it coming.” Have the guts to face the bitter
end. On the contrary, some people cheat to reinforce the affection they feel
for their partner. And you don’t need me to tell you how incredibly stupid that
is. If you have to sleep with someone else to realize the true value of your
relationship, then you probably aren’t mature enough to be in one, which brings
me to my next point.
6.
You probably shouldn’t be in a relationship in the first place.
If
you have the propensity to cheat, then maybe it’s time to step away from
relationships entirely. Because the notions you have on what it takes to be faithful
are clearly flawed. If you’re the type to cheat in order to escape the problems
of your relationship, something is very wrong. The same goes if you’re the type
to explore the idea of cheating while you’re in deep in a fight with your
partner, perhaps anticipating that you two will break it off anyway. That’s not
how you solve a problem. It’s how you create an even bigger one. Fighting is
never the end either; it only seems that way when you’re in it. Relationships
take time and hard work. You have to give it everything you’ve got. Otherwise,
what’s the point? If your partner is in it all the way while you’re merely
tip-toeing on the edge, then you’re just wasting each other’s time. Instead,
take some time to yourself to evaluate your perceptions of a real relationship.
You might save a lot of broken hearts that way.
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