You pass by a store window and do a double-take…”ooh, those shoes are too cute!”Determined to make them yours, you go inside to try them on. You anxiously await the salesperson’s return only hear those dreaded words, “I’m sorry, but we don’t have those in your size.” You’re at a crossroads: cute shoe, but the wrong size!… what’s a girl to do? At this point you have two basic options:
1. Leave the store a wee bit disappointed (nothing else is comparable) or
2. Request the shoe in a different size

 Common sense would tell us to leave the store, realizing it’s not the end of the world. However all too often we try to squeeze into a different size. First you try a half-size too small causing your feet to hurt with each step, developing bunions and all around pain. Then you try a size too big so they’re flapping off your feet and gaping when you walk. The shape of the shoe doesn’t even conform to your foot and at this point it does nothing to complement your foot, your outfit or you. You see neither of these alternate size options works well and we soon come to realize that as cute as the shoe is, it is just not a good fit and would be better served on someone else. Let it go and walk away recognizing that the perfect shoe for you is in your future.

Well as it goes with shoes, the same goes for our relationships. Yes, it’s a well-known fact that women love shoes just like me, so I’m confident you can relate to this analogy. Recognize when you’re in an unhealthy relationship and walk away. So often we stay in bad relationships because we’d rather be in an unhealthy relationship than be alone. In fact many of us have been in bad relationships so long that our dysfunction begins to seem normal so we keep getting into the same types of relationships.

It doesn’t matter how cute he is, if you are worse off with him, then it is not a healthy relationship and you need to cut your losses and let it go. Just as a cute shoe in the wrong size will cause you pain, staying in an unhealthy relationship will only cause you pain.

Unfortunately I have also endured too many cute shoes that are just the wrong size (both literally and figuratively) in the past. I’ve also witnessed my fair share of unhealthy relationships, so in an attempt to help other single women avoid or at least mitigate their exposure to an unhealthy relationship, here are a few signs to help you recognize when you’re in one.

SIGNS OF AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP:

    He isolates you from your family and friends
    He’s the most important person in the world to you (you have no support system other than him)
    He’s verbally, physically and/or emotionally abusive
    He’s very controlling
    He humiliates or degrades you (either publicly or privately)
    He’s extremely jealous and a womanizer
    He’s not trusting or trustworthy

Of course these are only a few signs of an unhealthy relationship, but if you recognize any of these signs in your current relationship, know that your soul mate is in your future. Don’t be blinded by singleness, you must learn to see yourself as God sees you. Singleness is not the worst thing in the world. You are a treasure to cherish so don’t allow anyone to treat you as anything less. And just in case you’re wondering, yes you can be in an unhealthy relationship with a man who claims to be a Christian. So stop making excuses for staying in an unhealthy relationship. Settle for nothing less than God’s best.

John 15:5 says “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in Him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”(NKJV). In order to make better choices in your relationships, first focus on developing and growing your most important relationship, then focus on cultivating all the types of relationships in your life.